My room smells like vodka and shame
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
