I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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