u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
