You made me cry and you don't even care
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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