Screwed.edu
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize