She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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