i just made my gag reflex go away.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We left the knife in your bed.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
