the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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