it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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