grandma shit on top of the toilet
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
