Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
