Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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