She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
how does that bad decision feel?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
