i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
