I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
