I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize