And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
