she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
