I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
