I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
A bitchslap is in order.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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