For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
