You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
