so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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