I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
