I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize