Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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