Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We have so much sex to catch up on
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
