Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
