I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
