We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
