That's intense
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
