yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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