but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize