I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
