Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
