All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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