Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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