all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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