I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
