I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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