One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
