so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
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