Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
