Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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