your thong is hanging out like whoa
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Life is so much better after having sex.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
