you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize