There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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