so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
