what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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