I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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