I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
