Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
