You're completely useless in the revolution.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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