She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize