Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
